As doulas, we often hear from dads that they appreciated our presence at their birth as much as their wife or partner did. At Ohana, we do not see ourselves as a substitute for dads – far from it. A father brings a knowledge of his wife or partner that no one else can replace. Rather, we aim to combine our experience with childbirth and labor with a dad’s knowledge of his partner to create a winning team. In our meetings with couples before birth, we ask dads about the ways they feel most comfortable being involved in the labor. Some dads want to be hands-on the entire time. Others want to take a more indirect supportive role. Whatever the preferences of each individual father, we work side-by-side with them to provide an optimal experience for both the mother-to-be and for them. Here are five reasons dads have told us they appreciated having a doula at their birth:
1. Doulas remember what dads learned in childbirth class.
Even if dad attended every class, during the stress of childbirth he may not remember all of the things that he can do to provide his wife with physical and emotional support. Fortunately, doulas are trained to do exactly that. The doula can help the father be the best possible labor coach for mom by providing hints, reminders, and advice during birth.
2. Doulas can give dad a break.
Most labors last several hours, but a doula’s presence allows dad to get a bite to eat, take a break, or take a nap without feeling guilty for leaving mom’s side. These breaks can give dad the chance to recharge, while ensuring that mom feels supported and cared for through the entire experience.
3. Doulas know their way around the hospital.
A doula will be familiar with many of the policies and resources available at specific hospitals. They can inform the couple about tools they can request in the hospital that can be helpful in labor, such as hot packs, yoga balls, extra pillows, birthing tubs etc. that the parents may not otherwise know they have access to.
4. Doulas speak the language of labor.
Oftentimes doctors and nurses answer questions or explain what’s going on with the birth in complicated medical jargon. A doula can take the time to translate doctor talk in a way that dad and mom can understand, which can decrease anxiety and make for a more positive experience.
5. Doulas keep dad calm so he can experience childbirth to its fullest.
Childbirth can be an overwhelming experience, especially for first time fathers. A doula not only provides emotional support to the mother, but also a critical source of reassurance for fathers.
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